Do you realise how vain and arrogant 3rd Person Omniscient is? Like, who’s the reader supposed to be? God?
Do you also freak out in movie theaters?
"Who am I in this story? Am I the camera man? The flying camera man? AM I GOD? OH MY ME!"
Probably…THG and Throne of Glass. Maaaaybe TMI. The books that I like “a little bit” are more for the ideas in them that got executed poorly, rather than liking them as-written.
All of the books I’ve done have good moments and passages, though. Some more than others.
Actually, throw 50 Shades into the list, too. I mean, if we’re going by the definition of “I like the idea behind this,” I would actually like the story of two people exploring kinky sexuality and then inadvertently developing feelings in the middle of it. Just…not when its told like that.
This chapter we skip straight to Austin. Because…apparently Brooke did nothing else to look for her sister that she was just so concerned about?
We skip ahead to the next leg of their tour as they go from Miami to Denver. …I looked ahead a bit, and their next two stops are Austin and Chicago. Who planned this tour? Normally you go in a circle or some other sort of order, so that you’re not having to do quite so much travel. And I “know” Remy is independently wealthy, but what about all the other fighters in this thing? Are they on the same ridiculous schedule?
“Fix my wrist for me.”
“Put a song on for me,”
I really don’t understand the appeal of these two characters/their ‘relationship.’ Not because he of any personality flaw on his end, but because as far as I can tell he has no personality. All of the dialogue between them reads like this. Very short, clipped sentences that are devoid of emotion or nuance. They don’t really talk, they just say things, very vague small-talk-ish things, or employer-to-employee things, while 90% (literally) of the text is Brooke flailing about how hot he is and how her ‘sex muscles’ keep clenching. There is almost zero actual interaction between the two. Remy could be replaced with a gif and there wouldn’t be any change, because the whole thing is just Brooke looking at him and then going fangirl-squeals.
So, you want to write a story/scene/something set in Las Vegas. Great! It’s a wonderful town!
…but maybe do a little research first. For instance:
- There’s more to Las Vegas than the Strip. A lot more. In fact, the Strip merely a 4-mile section of Las Vegas Blvd, while the city of Las Vegas is 135 square miles. Clearly, there is more to see.
- The Strip is technically located in Paradise, which is just a smidge south of Las Vegas proper. What is commonly known as “Las Vegas” is actually a bunch of suburbs squished together into one metropolitan sprawl. If you’re going to be completely proper about it, the whole mess together is called “Las Vegas Valley.”
- It’s called ‘valley’ because it’s a valley. It’s surrounded by mountains. You cannot look out the high-rise window at miles of flat desert. There are many excellent rock-climbing, hiking, and outdoors activities around Las Vegas, and there are people who travel there purely for outdoor sports.
- The Strip is located smackdab in the middle of the metropolis. There is no way to drive to it without going through outlying suburbs and parts of the city.
- If you’re going to list off Strip hotels, get a map and make sure you’re passing them in the correct order.
- Strip clubs are not actually on the Strip. You can find some very close, though. Same goes for sex shops. Burlesque shows are a different story.
- You can take your drink with you. Really.
- The oldest hotels (and some of the best) are located in Downtown, which is not the same as the Strip. The Freemont Street Experience is, likewise, not located on the Strip.
- The casinos host frequent lessons for those new to tabletop gaming. You can learn for free from a dealer.
- Many of the hotels cheap; $30/night cheap. Circus, Circus is particularly known for being inexpensive, but you get what you pay for. LVH is a decent-not-dirt-cheap hotel. Bellagio is upper-mid-range. Wynn is up there. The hotel you stay at says a lot about how much you’ve spent (and, to some people, who you are). Research the price of the different hotels.
- There are off-strip hotels that give you much more bang for your buck and are still close enough to walk to the strip. Don’t ignore them.
- You won’t have much luck trying to hail a taxi. You will never get a taxi on your own after dark. Hotels have taxi stations, and you will have to wait in a long line to get one. There is a monorail that services the Strip (and only the Strip) and a bus system.
- Hotels have restaurants, clubs, shopping, spas, and theaters located inside them. If you’re on the strip and doing something, you’re doing it inside a hotel; there’s almost nothing else there. (Almost.)
- There are only a few live-show theaters that are really nice; the majority are small (100 seats or less) and semi-seedy/bare. The shows are still totally worth it.
- The wedding chapels there put on some seriously nice weddings, as long as you go to a good one. They aren’t all cheesy and run by Elvis. It is not possible to get legally married to someone while drunk. You might find a place that’ll let you pretend at a ceremony, but no one is going to do the paperwork for two falling-down, black-out inebriated people. The license costs $60 and must be applied for at a Marriage License Bureau location. You can get married before getting a license, obtain a certificate, and use the certificate to get a license after the fact. It takes several weeks between applying and getting a license in the mail.
These are just a few of the things I see gaffed-up in stories about Las Vegas, though I’m sure there’s more. Basically, please do your research! Vegas is home to some incredible people and attractions, and it’s far too awesome to not get due props in fiction.
Trigger warning: this post spends a great deal of time talking about human trafficking.
During this next fight, Brooke’s seat is right next to the two hookers that were hanging around last night. They’re named Friday and Debbie and seem to be chill, probably escorts and/or strippers rather than streetwalkers, although that doesn’t excuse my previous RAAAAAAGE over the inclusion of sex industry workers in this novel.
I am not an ‘editor’ by the most common definition. I (occasionally) take on scopist jobs, which is something I got into through my court reporting school. Sometimes I also put up flyers at the local university offering to edit papers for people for cheap. That’s as far as I go with editing, unless you count ranting on the internet about grammar mistakes.
I should change my ‘about me’ section. I’ve actually cut back on scoping and work in a library now. …which I’ll have to change again soon, since the library job is ending in favor of full-time military for a few months. Oi.
St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school—it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic and half-human teens train to protect them. Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, a bodyguard for her best friend Lissa, a Moroi Vampire Princess. They’ve been on the run, but now they’re being dragged back to St. Vladimir’s—the very place where they’re most in danger…
Rose and Lissa become enmeshed in forbidden romance, the Academy’s ruthless social scene, and unspeakable nighttime rituals. But they must be careful lest the Strigoi—the world’s fiercest and most dangerous vampires—make Lissa one of them forever.
Holy High School Drama, Batman! I did not expect a book that was pitched to me on vampires and mysterious powers to be that full of teenaged popularity bullshit. …and quite frankly I didn’t care, either. It was done well enough that I was neck deep in caring about all of that before I even realized what I’d become embroiled in.
You want to know how I can tell people can’t tell fiction from reality? Because if they understood reality, they wouldn’t idolize the image of a badass murderer in the first place. It wouldn’t give them pleasure to pretend to be those people, and it wouldn’t make sense for them to think of such people as being worthy of emulation. There wouldn’t be people who look at Rorschach and think “yeah, that guy makes a lot of sense”.But they do. They think of people like that as “the top of the mountain”. They think of war and killing as baptismal waters that transforms untested boys into hardened men. They think that it’s the goal of the male animal to become sharpened, focused, stoic, detached. They think that men are killers, even if they have to obey laws. They wait, primed and ready, for a moment when some thug tries to mug them, some shithead breaks into their house, some little old lady gets attacked on the street. They wait for a chance to commit murder in such a way that it’s societally condoned and justified and even heroic, like a firefighter hoping for an arsonist or a doctor hoping for a plague.
The mountain isn’t real. And if you think you’re at the top of it, you’re fucking deluding yourself.