I have no idea what book this came from, but I don’t want to talk about the book right now.
I want to talk about every single asshole that’s ever tried to use this line on a woman.
It’s not about you.
It’s not about how you view us or if you love us or if you think our smiles are pretty or not.
It’s about the whole of our culture telling us that we have to be beautiful. It’s about the pictures we see that are labeled “perfection.” It’s about the TV commercials and the movies and magazine ads with photoshopped faces. It’s about the way women’s bodies are used to sell products. It’s about how every aspect of every minute of our lives can feel like it’s focused on how we look instead of who we are.
It’s even in that statement right there. “Beautiful.” Not funny. Not smart. Not passionate. “Beautiful.”
It’s about the fact that even when trying to reassure us that you like stuff other than our looks, you still use a physical descriptor.
And it’s about the fact that I can feel however I damn well want to about my looks. Some days I’ll feel bad about my looks. Some days I’ll feel good about them. I’m allowed to. Don’t ever tell me that my feelings about my own body aren’t valid.
Don’t you dare come in here and try and tell me otherwise, especially without recognizing the sheer scope and ubiquity of the issue.
And if you must tell me something, tell me I’m AWESOME and save your “beautifuls” for when I ask.
I understand the point about physical perfection and cultural standards and all. I get it. It’s demeaning and flattening.
But I think this post (and the girl in the story) miiight be using too narrow a definition of the word ‘beauty.’ Beauty, culture tells us, is a symmetrical face, poreless skin, and a stick-thin figure that manages to still have curves.
I think what Jake is TRYING to say is that beauty is more than that. Beauty is something undefinablly lovely (in the sense of lovable, attractive in the sense that it attracts, how do I find a word that our culture hasn’t appropriated for purely PHYSICAL attributes?) that shines in their face and words and actions and is bigger than they are. She looks at herself and sees asymmetry or pimples or body parts that aren’t the size she wants them to be - and Jake isn’t looking at those, he’s looking at her character, or what she does or says. And he says it’s beautiful. Can we not jump down his throat for that? He’s just trying to say that he loves her the way she is and she shouldn’t feel the pressure to conform to society’s physical standards of beauty, because beauty is more than that. And maybe he is failing to say that, but at least give him some credit for TRYING.
” how do I find a word that our culture hasn’t appropriated for purely PHYSICAL attributes?”
Try any one of these:
There’s tons of compliments a woman can receive that have literally jack shit to do with her appearance. The key is to actually compliment the thing you mean to compliment, not twist it around and shove it into a phrase that doesn’t fit.
The problem here is not that he’s trying to compliment her; the problem is that we’ve been taught by society that a woman should be beautiful. We’ve set the definition for female worth as being “BEAUTY.” But when we recognize that someone is worthy outside of physical attributes, we still fall back on that old definition. Every time we try and stretch, twist, and redefine the use of “beautiful,” we’re merely perpetuating idea that “beauty” is an attribute we need to hang on to, and is in fact the most important attribute, since we’re jumping through hoops to make it fit.
Leave beauty with it’s original definition and just compliment women on what they’re doing and who they are. It’s not hard. “You make me smile no matter how rotten my day has been.” “Your generosity humbles me.” “Your cooking makes me want to eat my spoon.” “Your compassion blows me away.” “Your artistic skills boggle my brain.” “Your hard work is impressive.” “Your uncanny ability to say what I’m thinking is creepy in the coolest possible way.”
chocopal
And now we know, too.
Mind you, I’m not trying to make a comment on the quality, writing, or characters of that story. I’m not even trying to comment on that specific iteration of this trope. That picture just happened to come into my crosshairs and get used as an example of wide-spread trend.
I have no idea what book this came from, but I don’t want to talk about the book right now.
I want to talk about every single asshole that’s ever tried to use this line on a woman.
It’s not about you.
It’s not about how you view us or if you love us or if you think our smiles are pretty or not.
It’s about the whole of our culture telling us that we have to be beautiful. It’s about the pictures we see that are labeled “perfection.” It’s about the TV commercials and the movies and magazine ads with photoshopped faces. It’s about the way women’s bodies are used to sell products. It’s about how every aspect of every minute of our lives can feel like it’s focused on how we look instead of who we are.
It’s even in that statement right there. “Beautiful.” Not funny. Not smart. Not passionate. “Beautiful.”
It’s about the fact that even when trying to reassure us that you like stuff other than our looks, you still use a physical descriptor.
And it’s about the fact that I can feel however I damn well want to about my looks. Some days I’ll feel bad about my looks. Some days I’ll feel good about them. I’m allowed to. Don’t ever tell me that my feelings about my own body aren’t valid.
Don’t you dare come in here and try and tell me otherwise, especially without recognizing the sheer scope and ubiquity of the issue.
And if you must tell me something, tell me I’m AWESOME and save your “beautifuls” for when I ask.
A clock. I can almost see the hands ticking around the twelve-sectioned face of the arena. Each hour begins a new horror, a new Gamemaker weapon, and ends the previous.
[…]
“So we have to move somewhere safe now.”
Eh. It’s a neat concept, but it’s pretty easy to figure out. It probably passed by a lot of readers simply because Katniss isn’t exactly on the ball when it comes to observing her surroundings, but even with that there were enough hints to get it before having it spelled out for us. And in that case…well, a clock just isn’t that dangerous.
See, with the clock set up, we know exactly what will happen and when it will happen. All you have to do is sit near the edge of a wedge, preferably right where they are now between the fog and the monkeys. Because for 22 hours out of the day, each wedge is perfectly safe. Theirs even more so, because the monkeys don’t even attack at once. They waited a hella long time before attacking our little group here. And the fog is highly visible. So all they have to do is sit on the beach, wait for the fog to get sucked up, then move counter clock-wise. Boom. Safe. And as long as they know the time, they can move around and avoid the other traps as well.
It’s a cool concept, I’ll grant that, but it’s far too easy to figure out and far too easy to beat once you do figure it out.
Anonymous
That’s like asking me to pick between sunburns and poison ivy. :\
Alright, lovelies, I’m going to bed, but thanks for the fun honesty hour/evening.
Before I go, because someone asked, here’s a teaser of the fanfiction I’ve been working on. For lack of an actual title, I’ve been calling it “The Hungry Animorphs”
Anonymous
Duo.
I got to meet his American voice actor multiple times, as I worked staff at a few conventions where he was a guest, and that man is a riot. This has *ahem* probably influenced my preference, but I care not.
Heero was a close second. I’ve never decided if I like Trowa/Quatre better as a slash or bromance, even though I’m pretty sure their beautiful gay love was canon in the original Japanese. But I grew up bromancing them, so it kind of stuck in my head.
Wufei was just a weirdo. I never connected to him.
Relena go way more shit than she deserved from the fans, so I like her, too. Sort of half because she was pretty cool, and half out of spite to the rest of the fandom.
Noi/Une were always more badass than their male counterparts. I luffed them.
Anonymous
I haven’t watched anime in a long time, and when I did my tastes ran more towards Gundam Wing, Cowboy Bebop, and Code Geass. However, I did enjoy the Sailor Moon comics, if not the show. I saw one episode of Puella Magi Madoka Magica and liked it, but I haven’t had much time to start a new series. :(
Yes, hype is a major marketing money maker. It’s no different from making a good trailer for a movie: if you get people excited enough, they’ll buy the product. If they don’t like it after that, well, you’ve already got their money.
There’s a fine line between drama and melodrama, and it’s mostly a matter of scope. Drama is just have conflict that people react to, and it’s a good thing. Melodrama is overreacting for the sake of getting attention, not because that’s how you honestly feel. (And in the case of books, it’s having characters overreact for the sake of drawing a bullseye around it and telling the reader “this! here! this is sad! be sad, too!”) It ends up being annoying because we as the readers want to feel our own feelings, not have someone else attempt to force us to feel something. Even if we were going to be sad anyway, it’s the heavy-handed force that’s annoying. The easiest way to tell the difference between the two is to read a lot and recognize it in other works, or get a beta reader that you trust.
There’s not (so far as I know) any set definition for what’s needed for a plot. Many people will say they have the definition, but then they’ll disagree with each other, so… For me, a plot happens when someone wants some goal and tries to accomplish that. The goal doesn’t necessarily have to be reached, but it should be there. Frodo wants to destroy the One Ring. Harry Potter wants to learn about magic. Alanna wants to be a knight. Meghan Chase wants to save her brother. Bella wants to screw a really old vampire. Other stuff happens in the course of this goal, and the end result may very well be something we and the character didn’t expect, but the desire of that character and the actions they take, that’s the plot. (That’s not…a very complete description. There’s certainly a lot of exceptions, like any writing rule, but it’s a good place to start from.)
To an extent, yes, ‘plot or no plot’ is a subjective thing. For instance: I think the plot of Twilight was “Bella wants a romance, and then she gets one.” It’s a boring plot, but there it is. Others think that doesn’t count, so they’d say it has no plot.
There’s a lot that goes into making a round character. Like with other stuff, the best thing you can do is read a lot and get some honest critiquers. But another thing you can do is find one of those “100 questions” type memes and fill it out for your character. If your character is already complete, then you should have such a good sense of his/her personality that the answer come easily. If you have to stop and think and actively make stuff up, it’s probably because you’re not dealing with a strong character.
